Saturday, May 26, 2012

a brand new day

I've learned another lesson. And you'll probably think to yourself, "Emily, you are just now realizing this..." but its true. So don't judge. I'm attempting to teach myself something here by writing it down.

For the past two weeks or so, I feel like I have been just going through life. No highs, no lows, just a plateau of nothingness. I wake up, go to class, go to work, walk home, dead tired, do homework, go to bed. In between all of that--where am I truly living, growing, loving, embracing, enjoying, thriving, and learning about life, lessons, experiences, and joy when I am just doing the same thing over and over again.

I brought this problem up with my friend, who likes to stay anonymous, and she said, "You are growing. You are taking classes--you are in school." But she and I both knew that the answer would not suffice my complex question.

Not to long later, did I realize, it wasn't that complex--and that this isn't the first time I have ever felt this way. You know that "what purpose do I even have" feeling.

There is pattern that I fall into that leads me to this feeling of a purpose-less life, but there is also a pattern that I find myself using to get out of that feeling.

In order to feel good about myself that day I need to do a number of things: shower, put on make up, like my outfit, pack a lunch, brush my teeth, prepared backpack, work nametag with me, bed made, room clean, breakfast ate and put away, and hair things put away, prayers said, and scriptures read.

When I wake up late, shower is either rushed or skipped, breakfast is not filling, bed and room is not clean, food is left out, scriptures and prayers are skipped, etc, etc, etc. All of these little moments effect my thinking--my thinking effects my attitude, my attitude is effecting what i say to others, what i say to others effect their day and effects how they treat me, continuation of this negative attitude discourages me from making friends, eating right, being active, and feeling "purposeless" in my daily routine. And why this was happening?

I was letting my daily and diligent scripture study slide...down hill.

And so I think I've found something that has always helped.....waking up and beginning with scripture study starts me on a good note, I am able therefore to go through everything I mentioned above with a happy positive attitude that makes me feel like I have purpose.

I literally can walk with a spring in my step as I go about my day. With the mindset, what am I going to accomplish today? How am I going to serve today? What more can I be doing to fulfill my role on earth, in family, community, university, ward, work environment, apartment, and myself?

Scripture study is a simple step, but a necessary step. Its the most important thing we can do in our day. Surely if I can dedicate "X" amount of time to social media, I can dedicate "x+some" time to considerate scripture study. It is absolutely essential for our daily lives. I realize this more and more. It gives us a better understanding of our lives, purpose, and role on earth. It allows us to feel the Holy Ghost and feel of the special and important promptings or impressions. It helps us accomplish so much more in our day when we have that "spring in our step." And it brings us closer to our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. Then as we go about helping others, they too can feel of Heavenly Fathers love for them.

It is fascinating to see how one aspect of our lives changes the way we leave so differently--to the one degree--and how beneficial and essential it is. I never want to stop scripture study again. It is the "WHY" to our daily living. And none of us, especially I, can not afford to live a day without it.

Just remember, tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet. 

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Maira Gall