Thursday, August 18, 2011

the tale of the hopeless college employee

is it just me, or does being homeless kind of suck?
understand that i only say kind of, because, being homeless implies that you get free food from people that have sympathy on you and your poor helpless self. also, it means that people just tend to give you a little extra love like letting them use your milk, shower, towels, hair dryers, okay lets face it, everything free of charge. or, it also means that the bookstore workers won't let you kick you out of their store for sleeping there on more then one occasion. so what if i am a familiar face of one that reads the entire book without buying it and taking advantage of the comfy chairs for a nap time....they understand.

now. because i have had the opportunity to be homeless, let me recount to you one of the more adventurous days i've experienced this past weekend.

you should know that in order to pay for college i decided it was best to work two jobs during my 2 week summer break. so job #1: i am working as an information aide at education week (aka: helping 20,000 lost old people find their way around campus). This requires me to sit out in the hot, hot, hot, utah sun for 8 hours a day. best part of the job. i get paid to read and get skin cancer. well, skin cancer on half my body that is. i fortunately sit at an awkward angle that lets half of my body get sun burnt....real cute.

job #2: MTC dining. but you all knew that.

so day 1 of working both jobs was quite the fiasco. i finished my Job 1 shift at 3:30pm, which meant, i literally had 40 mins to commute and change clothes. Nothing else. not to mention it takes 35 mins. to walk to the mtc from my friends apt. would have seen me running all over campus (mind you i'm in church clothes and carrying a large backpack) to get to her apt. as fast as i can. i break the law a few times in the process, but it was needful. i go to open the door, to realize that it is locked, and i for sure do not possess a key--because its not even my apt! so i call my friend. at the moment she was being fitted for her maid of honor dress. so her rescuing me was out of the question. she began spitting out instructions on how i should properly break into their apt. but, i assure, breaking into apts. is not in my expertise of skills.

so i ran to the back of their apt. complex and furiously began popping off multiple window screens and peering inside hoping i would find the right apt. after much work, i did. i then pushed my hands as tightly as i could on the glass and began sliding it back. to mu astonishment, it began opening. holla! this was a miracle. and the thought occurred to me, i'm so glad their apt. is so secure!

i threw my shoes and backpack through the small opened window, and crawled myself through, and over books, beds, and desks and finally made it on the ground. i quickly changed and at this point at 20 mins. before my shift started for job 2. i ran out the door. wait, ran is an understatement, i went full out sprinting toward the mtc, which was way too far away at this point. so it was a lost cause. in my process of sprinting, a brown van drove right past me. luckily my education week instincts kicked in, and i realized that was an ed. week van. i hurried and ran after it, waving it down with my black chef hat, and they eventually stopped for me and rolled down the window. and through my huffing and panting and not to mention much persuasion and proof that i was an ed. week employee, they let me and drove me to the mtc. lets just say that it was impeccable timing...and i know that this was a huge tender mercy of the Lord. i am "seriously, so blessed."

okay. so now that i've been completely distracted from my ed. week job by writing this post...i suppose its time to get back to getting paid to get skin cancer.

oh...and p.s. it wouldn't be a post without the mention of i'll just say, this morning i had my 37527493rd bowl of cheerios & chocolate chips. and i almost thought i was in heaven for second.

amen. the end. el fin. done.


  1. I'm so glad that even though you are homeless you still found some cheerios and chocolate chips to eat. I was getting a little worried for you

  2. I guess after being "homeless" being home never looked so good!

  3. didn't I introduce you to oatmeal squares and didn't you LOVE them?


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Maira Gall